Jan 28

& no joke

Posted in The Day

a friend is silent when i ask if sometimes i come on like a know-it-all…

o god …

i do … i do at least sometimes come on like a know-it-all … this is terrible … i hate know-it-alls … they really bug me … and here i am … one of them … this is bad … very bad …

because NOBODY knows he doesn’t know it all more than i know i don’t know it all … i’m an idiot a moron an imbecile … a wibbly-wobbly whadaYOUthink kind of guy … or at least i thought i was …

how could this happen? how long has this been going on? forever? have i always been a know-it-all? isn’t this worse than having teminally bad breath for years & years & nobody ever says so to yr face but once you find out you know they’ve been talking about you for years … that murphy … pretty nice guy usually but he can be a real know-it-all, don’t you think … yeah & he stinks too

i’m sorry … you don’t know how sorry i am … have i been a know-it-all around you? why didn’t you tell me? … nevermind, i know … for the same reason i wouldn’t have told you … if you were … but of course yr not … i am … i am the know-it-all … but …

i’ll try to be otherwise … i really will … couldn’t i? but how to do that?

start by shutting up … be quiet again … listen … like in the old days when i was too scared to say anything … too starved for somebody’s anybody’s approval … shut up …

then i stopped being scared & started talking and … as they say … apparently … removed all doubt … and now i’m too old for all of this … i shoulda figured this out maybe twenty years ago … then there woulda been a chance to …

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