is it working yet?

not really

[once again, the other one isn't letting me post ... so here]

it’s saturday morning … a puzzling week done gone … the kind of puzzlingness it wouldn’t do to blog about … but puzzling nonetheless … like when some change is in the air … like when the way things’ve been is about to become less coherent … shift around a bit … a mostly uncomfortable sensation … but at this age one just rolls with it since by this age one should know who’s not in charge … since being in charge is the great silly illusion … one likes to think … but shouldn’t

so … we had half a day of school yesterday … a string of twenty-minute classes that were quite frustrating (for a teacher) and quite a hoot for students who rushed from room to room & out the doors before even noon struck … but in our circle i’d just pose a wonder about the reading & they’d just get started with their own fine thoughts when off goes the bleeping beep of a “bell” … & “bye kids, read all these romantic poems for tuesday” …

for tuesday … because there’s no school monday … columbus & all … but why half a day on friday? you wonder … well … we brought in lots of money for this year’s major fundraiser: the street scene’s adbook drive … & this is our reward …

so what did i do with my free afternoon? i went to target for cat food … i walked around target & looked for teaching pants … but couldn’t figure the best waist size … sometimes 36 works … but 38 … that seems to be where i’m headed … i was conflicted … lost heart … & didn’t purchase any …

so i’m wandering around cradling this little bag of purina cat chow vitality formula for old cats (defined as 7+ … holy hairballs! what does that make my soon-to-be-18 kitten? way past old? primeval archaic … venerable?) … walking around looking for a new poop scoop in Kitchenware but not finding one … then off to see if there’s a cheap dvd i need … there isn’t … then a stroll through the music where my eye falls on thom yorke’s the eraser & it’s kind of cheap so i grab it & check out …

i’ve listened a few times now to yorke’s & find it fits my mood … or maybe it has created my mood … sometimes it’s hard to tell … that mood where things seem to be shifting around … ready to change … and there’s so much sadness & beauty & danger everywhere you look … & it doesn’t feel trite & you don’t feel trite … but you feel like yr on to something & any minute now the tired old world will crumble down & something better & stronger will stand up in just the right color … you know?

[update: just now realized it's thom yorke's birthday ... creepy]